We walked slowly arm in arm, it was not too cold, at least there was no wind and soon he gently edged me into a shop doorway where we could kiss. He w...s gently kissing me, my ear and neck then round to find my lips, not too forceful yet firm so that I opened mine to feel his tongue slip between mine. I loved his French kissing and was soon responding by sucking on his tongue and slipping my tongue into his mouth. He undid the buttons of my coat and opening it put his hand under it to fondle my. They were beautiful brown eyes that could calm the soul. I murmured, "I hope Brian meets her."Missus White said, "What did you say?"I stammered for a second. "I said that I hoped Brian meets her. Her eyes startled me. There is a calm intelligence there that my brother would find irresistible. Maybe they vanished to the same place and will meet."Mister White said, "That's always possible." Beth took out a picture of Brian and passed it to the Whites. They nodded. He said, "He's tall enough not. .." i continue... "no more pain... no more suffering... just bliss... quiet oblivion and bliss... all you need to do is say the word... one little word and it will be over... no effort... no strain... just a word... just say it... say it... is that so hard...??? so much to ask...???" and here calm and almost quiet begins to rise... soft tones replaced by deeper meaning... menace growing... a return to what was before and now... words clipped... the spaces between them more blinks than breaths. Right. Appropriate. As if we completed each other, as if we leaned on each other. She had said as much at some point.When I told her I wasn’t sure I could be her master because I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to support both our lives, she had said perhaps we could help each other in our brokenness. Or something like that.Whatever it was, I felt better about myself for being with her, better than I had ever felt about myself because I now had a focus, and purpose outside me that was absent.
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