I feel a deep calm, like the onset of meditation. Time slows. I am conscious of the hairs on the back of my neck and on my arms pricking. And I enter ...he chamber. Today, it’s bare. White, blond wood. Diaphanous drapes billow in the breeze. Sunlight floods it. A sensuous tropical smell of sandalwood and musk pervades. At the far end of the room is an object I’ve never seen before. A wooden St. Andrew’s cross six feet high, the bars in the shape of the letter X. You lithely slip into the room. It can't be, not with you hiding in your room likethat. Hiding tells me that you're scared and ashamed, and if you areashamed, then it's more than a lark, so I want you to tell me why youkeep dressing as a girl. If you don't know, tell me."As soon as I opened my mouth, it all came out in a torrent of hate andanger, desire and dismay, a jumble of disconnected words punctuated withsobs, lubricated with tears. I told her that I wanted to be a girl, areal girl, not just a boy in a dress. I wanted. Nobody special really,” he said. She snickered.“Yeah, well none of Harry’s pals have been special so far,” she said, “so I can relate to what you’re saying on that score for damn sure.“But you said ‘and’,” she said. “And who?”“And maybe a couple of his friends too,” said Chester.“Not a fucking chance, Chester. Don’t ask again or you’re history as far as I’m concerned.”“Okay, okay,” he said. “Just Carlton. Okay?” She all but sneered at his words, but she nodded her disgusted okay.“Okay, but no. That made me nervous, being on our own. ‘I need to find a place to stop and get some clothes,’ I said, glancing at Keven as we left the urban area behind. ‘For simple things, there is a Wal-Mart about halfway there. Will that work?’ I nodded. ‘That’s fine. I need underwear, jeans and stuff. How rough is it going to be?’ ‘You’d better get some boots, too. It’s way off the beaten path.’ ‘It’s been a while since I went camping.’ He laughed. ‘Well, it’s rough but not that rough. I have a cabin up.
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