I fantasized about some mean white master totally destroying me and using me. I jerked off this this fantasy, and it was much more powerful than real ...ex with a girl. I walk around campus looking a white jocks, wishing one of them would just beat the shit out of me, or hurt me or use me. Is that sick or what? I don't know what to do about it. Part of me wants a normal life, and part of me wants and needs this sexual deviancy. I am coming to you for two things. They are opposites really. First,. The hot water was heaven on Jareth’s worn body. The steaming water pooled about his aching thighs, easing the tension of horse riding. Using the cloth, he swept some of the hot water over his chest and shoulders, feeling the tight muscles ease in appreciation of the pampering. He bathed thoroughly, washing every nook and cranny, even running the cloth over his dark hair to wash out the day’s sweat and dirt. When his bathing was done, Jareth was reluctant to vacate the heated water, and instead. He came in put the bottle on the table and opened one. I again asked him to hook my bra and he did so. ( I so love it when someone else hooks my bra for me ). I lit a smoke and I asked himMe- did you find a boy to massage and fun for me? ( koi ladka mile massage and maja karne ko?)M – yes I talked to another waiter, he said he can do what you like( main dusra waiter se baat kari hai aur wo aap ke saath kaam kar dega)Me – another waiter, then if he comes to my room and stays for a long time,. I knew the shirt was now exposing my belly button, and hoped Paul would have another go.Instead he got up, turned off the tv and then the light and went upstairs.Oh. Not what I expected. Damn!!So I also went to bed.Friday I had to work. One of my colleaques was off sick, so they phoned me and asked if I could work the whole day. We needed the money so I said yes. Paul was still asleep, so I left him a note. I hoped he wouldn't mind, but I somehow think after the show I gave him last night he.
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