But I do know what loss feels like." We reached the van and he walked around to the driver's side. "You don't want to sit around feeling bad for yours...lf. It's better to get back on the horse." Save your breath," I said. "The only reason I'm here at all is because Babs told me the same thing. But I never wanted all this. I was tricked." I opened the passenger door and climbed in. "If Riley hadn't been there, I never would've agreed to any of this." How kind," a voice from the back of the van. What really struck me, though, was a bruise, one that almost looked like a hickey, on my neck. My dream from the night before, which had ended with the mystery woman kissing my neck, immediately came to mind.Thinking about this, I turned on the shower, stripped, and got in. The hot water helped soothe me a little, and restored a measure of clarity to my thoughts. As I washed myself, I noticed I seemed rather thin. I had always been a little heavy, and had a gut. But this morning, it didn't seem. I lean in, kiss you softly and then whisper in your ear, "I’m sorry baby. You don't have a choice. I will determine how, when and where you cum tonight. O.K.? Do you understand that? Can you accept that?"You look up and meet my eyes and I see a look of quiet, sexual, desperation reflected there as you nod in assent.You bury your face in my chest as you feel my fingers start to plunge in and out of you again, like a pump, pulling your orgasm out from deep within you. Your juices are leaking out. I’d settled my slim body into the over-stuffed, rose-colored chair in the corner of my bedroom. My left elbow on the arm of the chair, my chin resting in the palm of my hand. I watched him pack his things the day he left my life. Gosh, that man is handsome. With his hazel eyes and dark brown hair, you’d never know he’s 42. He stays lean by working out with weights in the gym twice a week, and he plays Racquet Ball when he can…at least he did when we were together. My eyes roamed over his body.
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