The weather ahead is good, so we should have an uneventful flight. So, sit back, relax, and ... OH MY GOD!"Silence followed ... Some moments later, th... captain came back on the intercom. "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"From the back of the plane, a passenger yelled"For the love of God, you should see the back of mine!"This one is compliments of AnonymousA. My family is fairly well off financially, but I still work for the fun of it, and because I hate accepting gifts from my parents. I've only recently come to terms with my sexuality. I've decided that I am gay. I'm not really comfortable with it, but I accept it. However, I am in no way ready to admit it to the world. I am your average build teenager, 5'8" 130 pounds, smooth chest, very little hair, and a cute face. I was athletic, I played baseball, soccer, and I swam competitively, so I did. She was rocking back and forth, shutting out everything else around her. I sat beside her, and tried to put an arm around her, but she shrugged it off, almost violently. I wasn't quite sure what to do, but thought that at the very least I should sit close to her and just try to provide some silent support.After about another five minutes she drew in a deep, sobbing breath, then turned to look at me. There were tear tracks on her face, and she started saying, "I'm sorry ... I'm sorry ... I'm. Thompson." That should take care of that issue for now. Next is the lottery. Jim, as the purchaser of the ticket, you must present it to the Lottery Commission in person. They will test it, and check it on the computer for an exact match. When it does match, you'll be declared the winner. They'll ask how you want the money distributed. By the way, how do you want it distributed?" Charlie asked."Lump sum, Charlie. All I can get." Fine. Then the IRS will step in and take their share — about 40%..
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