Fingerprint recognition. I smile to myself, remembering the first time I met him. I was supposed to meet up with a few friends from my alma mater, but...work dragged out a lot longer than I’d expected. Heading to the bar wearing an office-friendly dress and blazer hadn’t been my ideal choice, but I shrugged it off and told myself that I wouldn’t be dressing up for anyone worthwhile, anyway. How wrong I’d been. Everyone there was dressed much more casually – jeans, shirts and pretty frocks. I. Jordie's not like that." Oh, yeah? Did you see how Melissa looked in that dress? I almost hadan erection when I saw her." Stop it," Frances tried to be the mature one, but Robbie's remark didmake her giggle a bit.As Frances continued to brush Jordan's auburn hair, Jordan felt theneed to say, "I do get them, you know. Erections, I mean. Just becauseI can't father a child doesn't mean that I don't get... excited... bybeautiful women." We know, Jordie," Frances said, afraid that they'd upset. ..”I did my best to explain my thoughts: “No, mom. I mean... I’m the one who should be sorry. I want to do it, mom. I just... got scared.”“Really?” Mom frowned, and her hand was moving towards the hem of her nightgown again.“Yes,” I said when her fingers touched the lacy hem. She was hesitant and I bit my lip as I looked her in the eyes. “Yes, I really do.”Mom gave me one more silently affirming gaze before she slowly started pulling the nightgown up and over her head. Seeing my mother naked. Opening the heavy door slowly, I peeked inside to see Satan sitting behind a smoldering Ikea desk. Upon seeing me enter he stood. His buff, naked, crimson body exposed. His penis appeared to be twitching angrily like a Graboid from 'Tremors.' I kept my distance. With his pointed tail swishing through the fetid air he spoke in a powerful voice, his pitchfork used for emphasis."Welcome to the happiest place under the Earth, Portia. I like to greet all new arrivals to calm any fears they might.
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