The resort was one Susan had found on the Internet. The place was alittle run down, but very inexpensive, and big with Europeans.While lying out, we n...ticed a number of single white women, who hadtaken up with the local men. Several of the men by the pool weresporting really incredible bulges which at one point drew a remarkfrom Susan to the effect that the myths about black men were surelytrue. I thought little of that remark at the time.That night we decided to go clubbing. We had gone to a. "They've just switched planes in Denver and should get in at about eight this morning." She started moving quickly around the room, gathering their few belongings and stowing them away again."Where's Chadwick?" I looked around but didn't see him."He went to check out." You're leaving?" Yes, we're re-locating somewhere closer to your father's house." She was almost finished already and I took a steadying breath, trying to convince myself that everything would work out when the phone rang.. They all made sense, more so if I assumed she had little interest in being home with me.I felt really crappy about the doubts I was having. Yet I couldn't help wondering what was really going on those three nights that she was gone and couldn't be contacted. I cared for her, a lot. And except for this, Sally had given me no reason to doubt she loved me. But this progression was eating into me badly. I was jealous, and letting it get to me, but it seemed to me there was reason. I couldn't put it. It's my burden, and some days, I truly do struggle with it. The words are just words, i can say "I'm sorry" a billion times a day, and it wouldn't make any difference. No amount of "I'm sorry" can bring you back, or take away the pain that I've caused. The only "I'm sorry" that really matters, is the one deep inside of my heart, that I hope that you can feel, and hear when I talk to you. That feeling of being alone will be there forever my sweet, because I let you down. I'm cursed to live the.
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