June cancelled some of our dates at the last minute, bitched at me on the phone while I was trying my hardest to help her, and ditched me to chase aft...r some so-called friends of hers who clearly didn’t give a damn about her. June doesn’t let anyone get close to her. Not even her girlfriends. It seems that whoever gets close to her, she hurts, and then chases someone else. I tried my best to help her, I really did. I put aside my feelings, ignored my own needs, and put hers first. Some female. Now, I don't know what she thought or how she felt, but it was just about killing me!More than once, I was tempted to just sit down with her and come clean. Each time I'd made up my mind to do it, I would look into her eyes, but I just couldn't bring myself to say anything that would hurt her. I think she knew that I wanted to tell her something, but the way she looked at me during those times, I got the distinct feeling that she'd rather not know.To be honest, I didn't know if I was a coward. . inane things, until he mostly quit asking." And this went on for how long?" Close to five years ... And I became more and more jealous," she said, staring at her feet. Then after a silence, "I knew I was messing up, but I just couldn't seem to get over it. I guess I expected that he would start running around on me sooner or later. Heck, I'm amazed that he didn't. But it was like ... I don't know. Like I was sick or something. I just couldn't respond to him. Every time he started making love. .. I cried out with frustrated rage at his sickening deeds. Shaw, though, was completely in his element. With a flick of his hand, Debbie suddenly stilled and then put her feet down and sat straight. She smoothed her clothing and pushed her hair into a semblance of order. Her face was still smeared with makeup and her stockings were in tatters up her legs. She stood and smiled at Shaw. But I knew that her 'self' was still trapped behind the facade, by the movements she made it was obvious that.
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