I'd been used yet again, my lovers has been set up, I had been used as bait, and it was even worse than the rape. I was so disgusted I had to find som...one to whom I could attach blame. Someone deserved retribution, though I couldn't think of a punishment dire enough for the sick fuck responsible.In my scapegoat-seeking paranoia, I became fretful and impatient. A report came to me one day with the kind of evidence I had been half-expecting, and wholly dreading. Cheryl, my Home Office mole found. “Well. If you can’t see that, then I don’t know what else to say.”He stood up and grabbed her neck, squeezing just hard enough to let her know he wouldn’t let go. “Ten with a strap for cussing, and then you’ll get your ten with the quirt. I’m going to forgive the slap because I insulted you and I shouldn’t have. Take off your nightgown and bend over the bed, feet apart, toes pointed in.”She stared at him in surprise, and a little fear. Maybe she’d been too hasty, and she probably shouldn’t have. I knew from the movie where all the bits went, and slowly daddy realized what it was I was doing to please him, so he secretly called me 'Amber', my signal to play with him behind mother's back, titillate and tease only mind you, but at least I knew more than my friends did.Acting was in my blood so I went to acting collage and began to be noticed, not because I had the skills necessary to get me noticed, but I had the body, and I knew how to draw attention to myself.So it was no surprise when. "I was downing a quart of booze every day back then, and I stopped doing that." Mr. Harder does not like you, says you're a wise guy and too damn old, bad for discipline he says, a trouble maker." The young man nodded his agreement and raised one thin eyebrow as he refolded the letter."Not much I can do about it." Buzzy and I had exchanged perhaps twenty words since I had signed a contract."And he's a good baseball man. Everybody says that. You see the piece in SI, the one in the Sporting.
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