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At that time I was together with my boyfriend Tim and everything was going fine between us. The weather forecast predicted a sunny weekend so we decid...d to go to the Ardennes for the overnight weekend. We also invited Eline and her boyfriend along and two other single guys were joining us. The only problem was that we only had 2 big tents so we had to sleep with 3 people in each tent. We didn't want the couples to sleep apart so we decided that each couple would have one of those single guys in. I shut it off, blink into the growing morning light, and lay in my bed and stare at the ceiling. This is the day…the first real full day where she’s not mine anymore. The first time that I’m waking up as one of several. The first day where the other is past, present, and future. A whole day of being…not ‘us’…but just ‘me.’ Of her having had and continuing to have intimacies and experiences that I have no part to play in. Of being the husband, but no longer the lover. What happened yesterday?. ’ ‘Who?’ asked Maya. ‘Randy,’ Joe replied looking at Carol whose face tightened with a cute wrinkle between her eyes before she relaxed and smiled slightly and nodded. ‘He’s always looking for new music,’ she said. ‘And dancing to those sliding notes…’ ‘Sensual, just the way you like it,’ Joe chuckled. ‘I’ll bring the tapes to our first class,’ Consuela smiled. ‘Sunday afternoon?’ ‘It’d have to be after 4:30. I work that day.’ ‘Five it is.’ ‘Cool,’ said Carol. ‘I’ll cook dinner.’ ‘And we can. But now I felt like the burden had shifted. I was eager to get back home today. I missed her. I missed all of them. I think my connection and focus on Rhonda had overwhelmed the connection I felt with each of my hearthmates at times, no matter what our relation. I even missed Josh. Now it was like the whole web was complete and I couldn't miss one without missing them all.But there was this overwhelming responsibility I felt, as well. I needed to take care of them all.I love you, Rhonda. I love.
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